Songs From Blowie River #3

Diamond Bill

There was a bold selector,
I guess this is his song,
But Bill was a prospector
And so I guessed quite wrong.

He trailed the wild emus
From Newtown to Gymea
And taught them to find truffles
Which he hid behind his ear.

With these he dug for diamonds
Of many carrots fine,
But rabbits ate the carrots
When he hung them on the line.

The R.S.P.C.A. said,
‘Oh no, this will not do,
You can’t go hanging rabbits,
You must eat them in a stew.’

So he sat down in the pot
And as he slowly stewed
He peeled all the rabbits
And ate them in the nude.

A policeman passing by
Said, ‘That’s against the law.
It’s really quite indecent
To be eating in the raw.’

He took him into Court,
Before a judge and jury,
Where Diamond Bill recounted
The aforementioned story.

‘Good lord!’ the judge exclaimed
As the jury burst in tears,
‘I’ve never heard such twaddle,’
And he gave him twenty years.

Sledge