Bloke goes into a pet shop and asks if he can keep seabirds as pets.
Owner: What would you like?
Bloke: How about a Loon?
Owner: It's illegal to keep them. We did have some but they were confiscated by the Loon Ranger.
Bloke: How about a Bittern?
Owner: They're terrible pets. I kept one once and it ripped the house apart with its beak. I've learned my lesson. Once Bittern, twice shy.
Bloke: I was thinking about a Tern, maybe?
Owner: We did have three that the RSPCA brought in from a pub. Landlord kept one in a huge whiskey bottle. It died of claustrophobia. The second was in the beer fridge and it froze to death. There's only one left. Would you like to see it?
Owner goes out the back and wheels out a large vat.
Owner: Yours if you want it -- your Tern in the barrel.This can go on and on (the Shag and the Booby, to name but two, are up for grabs).
Just send an email to the address below and it will be added to the collection.
Albert Ross
