Sledge's very own signs of recession, some of which have already come to pass

1. The lift-out in the Wednesday Oz changes its name from "Wealth" to "Poverty".
2. The finance segments of news bulletins report the latest government handouts, the current value of the single parents' benefit, the price of a litre of milk, the percentage of raids on charity bins and the related advisability of taking out shares in op shops.
3. The expression "It's all up to you" is universally changed to "It's all down to you".
4. The $ key on computer keyboards is replaced by a ¢ key.
5. There's a verge pick up every month because the local councils will never have to collect.
6. The number of persons listed in the phone book as artists doubles.
7. The Centrelink queues start to include men in suits and women with shoulder pads and brooches.
8. The supermarkets start to charge for sticking for-sale notices on their bulletin boards, such is the demand.
9. The government funds 100% of the installation of chimneys so that children can work by going up them.
10. There are deaths when bankers and self-refunded retirees fight for the best spots atop tall buildings.