I've left out all the ones I just sat in with from time to time and the short-lived utter flops -- not that any of those listed had much success!
1. The Climaxes (late 60s pop). This was a band I played in at school. It was headed by a fat drummer who called himself Dave Divine. He was very middle class and his parents could not only afford a proper drum kit but, as he was an only child, they let him go for it and fended off the neighbours. We did bad covers of The Kinks, The Who and The Hollies. None of us had any idea what the band's name meant and wouldn't have recognised an orgasm if we had one by accident. The furthest we got was as warm up for kids' cinema matinées and a spot on local community radio.
2. In the early 70s, I moved to Adelaide for my first foray into university life. The only paper qualification I got was a parking ticket. But I did fluke an upstairs flat in Glenelg, the well-known posh suburb and palindrome. Of which, a bunch of us got together and formed a glam rock band called Megatart's Stratagem. The lead singer (whose name I've forgotten) thought he/she was David Bowie, could not be persuaded otherwise and wrote a whole rock opera based on Major Tom and called "Abort Sequence". It was, appropriately, only performed once.
3. Dentata. Back in WA in the 80s and needing money, I signed up as part of this backing band for a lesbian-feminist-punk performer called Madge the Vadge who wanted to outdo Patti Smith. Madge was unable to find enough genuine lesbian-feminist musicians to make up the band -- and resolutely refused to employ feminist-lesbians on ideological grounds. So, apart from "Menstrual Flo" on keyboards, the rest of us were blokes. We had to frock up and play with our backs to the audience. A minor local hit was had with the "Horse's Clit" CD, exclusively distribued by the Gay & Lesbian Alliance.
4. Australia. (Like that, in italics.) Formed on Australia Day in 1991 or 1992, can't remember which. This is where I first played with the great percussionist Jimmy Barker after being called in one hungover morning to fill in. Don't see much of Jag or Stig these days, but Jimmy still turns up to enliven band 6 (below). Australia is the only band any of my readers might have heard of, perhaps because of our minor hit "Kiwi Fruit". If not, some music journalist came over the other year and said he was writing an article about the band. He sent me a copy (though I don't think it was published) and I can pass it on to anyone who happens to be interested.
5. Late 90s. The only X-Pensive Winos cover band ever known: Alec and The Alecoholics. Don't think we ever completed a whole set. The band became financially unviable because the eternally pissed frontman misplaced his Telecaster at every gig and had to buy a new one for the next.
6. Post 2000, a bunch of old guys sitting around and playing rock 'n' roll. This band has had several names but is currently known as SilverHair.
