I like to write letters to various papers and magazines.
For some reason, they rarely get published.
You'll see what I mean.
The first is to Helen Young who answers gardening questions in her "Twig" column in the Weekend Oz:
Dear Ms Young,
No matter how often I water it, my 18 year-old clivia will not stay moist. My neighbour, a mathematician, suggests I plant it next to his adder's tongue (Erythronium) but I'm not convinced. Would you recommend I give it a try?
(Becky Trovatore, Minjup, WA)
The second is to the editor of the RAC(WA) mag:
Dear Ms Rafferty,
Wouldn't it be useful to have an article on all those new gismos fitted to cars these days that are usually only advertised under their abbreviated names or acronyms? Here are three I've spotted recently. Strangely enough, they only seem to be fitted to cars purchased in WA.
• HIT (Hidden Indicator Technology) — this prevents a turn from being signalled when, to do so, would convenience other road users. It is voice activated by saying "Well, I own the bloody road, don't I?".
• SCID (Steer Centring Inhibitor Device) — this ensures that a vehicle never keeps an even distance between the left-hand side of the road and the centre line. Manufacturers recommend it should especially be turned on when using a mobile phone.
• WASTE (WA Sway Turn Enabler) — this obviates the dangerous practice of pulling to the crown of the road when turning right. Instead the vehicle swerves abruptly to the left before making the turn. It is the small vehicle equivalent of the "Do not overtake turning vehicle" sign.
(Percival Trovatore, Minjup, WA)
